Happiness: A Changeable State, Not a Fixed Trait

Happiness is often misunderstood as a permanent part of our personality. In reality, happiness is a temporary, adaptable state, not something you either “have” or don’t. At Killian Counseling Services LLC in Montclair, NJ, we guide clients in understanding this flexible nature of happiness and how it can be nurtured through simple habits.

Happiness: A State, Not a Trait

Think of happiness as a mood that comes and goes, rather than a fixed personality trait. This shift in understanding means anyone can experience happiness, no matter their personality or life circumstances. Happiness naturally changes over time, but through specific actions, you can create more moments of joy and contentment.

Seeing happiness as a state makes it more achievable. Small, meaningful moments of happiness can add up to an overall sense of well-being, even if you don’t feel happy every moment of every day.

Happiness as Contentment, Not Intense Joy

Happiness is often confused with intense emotions like joy or bliss. But happiness is more commonly a softer feeling, like contentment. Positive psychology teaches us that happiness can be a sustainable sense of ease or pleasure, rather than something as thrilling as joy.

Sustainable and Realistic: Intense feelings are short-lived, while contentment can be felt regularly and sustained through simple practices.
Balance and Stability: Chasing constant excitement can be exhausting. Instead, viewing happiness as a state of contentment offers balance and helps create emotional resilience.

Happiness is Both Internal and External

Happiness can be both a private feeling and an outward expression. Positive psychology views happiness as flexible—it can be something you feel quietly within or something you share with others.

Internal Happiness: Personal moments of happiness might include peaceful relaxation or a feeling of satisfaction after a job well done. Practicing gratitude, mindfulness, and hobbies that bring joy can foster internal happiness.
External Happiness: Expressing happiness through smiles, laughter, or time with loved ones can also deepen your happiness and help spread positivity to those around you. Sharing happy moments reinforces connections, making happiness a communal experience too.

Practical Tips to Cultivate Happiness Every Day

Building small habits can increase your happiness and help it become a regular part of your life. Here are some science-backed practices that can help you feel happier:

Practice Gratitude: Taking time to reflect on things you’re grateful for can boost your mood and make happiness a more familiar feeling. Writing a gratitude journal is an excellent way to increase happiness.
Build Meaningful Relationships: Happiness often comes from feeling connected. Spending time with friends and family provides support and increases both internal contentment and shared joy.
Focus on the Present: Practicing mindfulness by staying present can reduce stress and help you savor happy moments. Being present allows you to appreciate the simple pleasures in your life.
Pursue Meaningful Goals: Working toward goals that align with your values fosters a sense of purpose. Whether big or small, these goals can create moments of happiness by reinforcing what truly matters to you.

Finding Happiness with Professional Support

At Killian Counseling Services LLC, we support clients in understanding and cultivating happiness in meaningful ways. Through individual, couples, and family therapy, our team helps clients identify their unique paths to well-being and fulfillment.

Discover More Happiness with Killian Counseling Services LLC

If you’re ready to build a happier, more balanced life, Killian Counseling Services LLC in Montclair, NJ, is here to help. Our PhD-level clinicians provide compassionate, expert care to support you on your path to a more fulfilling life.