Grief is difficult for anyone, but LGBTQ+ individuals often face unique challenges when it comes to grieving. For many, grief can go unrecognized by society—a type of loss known as disenfranchised grief. This kind of grief can feel even more painful when support is missing or when the loss is misunderstood. Below, we’ll look at how disenfranchised grief affects LGBTQ+ communities and some ways to find healing.
What Is Disenfranchised Grief?
Disenfranchised grief is grief that society doesn’t fully acknowledge or validate. This often happens to LGBTQ+ individuals because of societal stigma or a lack of legal and social recognition. For example, a person might lose a partner, but if others don’t fully accept or recognize the relationship, the grieving person may receive little support. Others might feel a deep loss from being rejected by their family or community due to their identity, a pain that is rarely acknowledged by society.
Common Types of Disenfranchised Grief in LGBTQ+ Communities
- Loss of Family Connection
Some LGBTQ+ people experience rejection from family members, a loss that can feel as painful as any other grief. This type of grief is often not supported or understood, which can make it even harder to manage. - Loss of a Partner or Relationship
When LGBTQ+ relationships aren’t accepted by others, grieving a breakup or the death of a partner may not receive the sympathy it deserves, which can make the grieving process even more painful. - Loss of Community or Religious Belonging
Many LGBTQ+ individuals feel excluded from their religious or cultural communities, leading to a sense of loss of identity or connection that is rarely recognized by society. - Health-Related Grief
LGBTQ+ individuals often face health issues or losses due to unequal healthcare access. Grieving these health challenges can feel especially isolating when others don’t understand or validate their experience. - Lost Dreams Due to Discrimination
Discrimination can limit life opportunities, leading to grief over missed dreams and ambitions. This kind of grief is often overlooked, leaving individuals to process it alone.
How Disenfranchised Grief Affects Mental Health
When grief isn’t supported, it can lead to lasting effects on mental health, including:
- Feeling Alone: Without understanding and support, grief can feel isolating and much harder to carry.
- Ongoing Grief: Without a supportive environment, it may be difficult to process grief, making it last longer than it might otherwise.
- Self-Doubt or Shame: When others don’t recognize or validate their loss, individuals may begin to doubt the reality of their own grief.
Ways to Cope with Disenfranchised Grief
- Find Affirming Support
Connecting with people who understand your experiences can make a big difference. Trusted friends, family, or LGBTQ+ groups can provide a safe space where you can talk openly about your loss. - Seek LGBTQ+ Support Groups
These groups offer community and understanding, helping you feel less isolated in your grief. - Practice Self-Compassion
Remind yourself that your grief is valid and real, even if others don’t see it that way. Activities like journaling or art can help you express your feelings and better understand them. - Work with an LGBTQ+-Affirming Therapist
An affirming therapist can give you the support and tools to manage grief in a way that respects and values your identity.
How Killian Counseling Services LLC Can Help
At Killian Counseling Services LLC, we understand the unique grief that LGBTQ+ individuals may experience. Our therapists offer a compassionate, affirming space for those grieving losses that are often unrecognized. Whether you’re grieving the loss of a relationship, family connection, or sense of belonging, we’re here to help.
If you’re struggling with disenfranchised grief and need someone to talk to, reach out to Killian Counseling Services LLC today. We provide both online and in-person sessions to help you heal in a supportive environment.