Understanding Dr. Sue Johnson’s View of Adult Attachment: Establishing a Secure Base in Relationships

What is Attachment Theory?

Attachment Theory, developed by John Bowlby and expanded by Mary Ainsworth and Mary Main, is a psychological framework that explores how early relationships with caregivers shape our thoughts and behaviors in relationships throughout life.

• John Bowlby introduced the concept of attachment, highlighting the critical bond between children and their primary caregivers for healthy emotional development.
• Mary Ainsworth advanced this theory with her research on attachment styles, identifying four main types: secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized, using the Strange Situation procedure.
• Mary Main expanded on Ainsworth’s work by examining how these attachment patterns manifest in adult relationships and the impact of unresolved attachment issues.

Attachment styles formed in early life are generally stable but can evolve through self-awareness and addressing attachment issues. Understanding how insecure attachments develop and influence relationships is crucial for fostering more secure forms of attachment.

How Each Attachment Style Manifests in Adults

1. Anxious / Preoccupied Attachment

   • Self-View: Negative
   • View of Others: Positive
   • Behavior: Adults with this style often see their partners as essential for their well-being and fear abandonment. They crave constant security and reassurance, leading to high anxiety if they perceive a lack of support. This need for attention can manifest as clinginess and excessive reassurance-seeking, as they are hyper-vigilant about potential threats to the relationship.

2. Avoidant / Dismissive Attachment

   • Self-View: Positive
   • View of Others: Negative
   • Behavior: Individuals with this style value independence and self-sufficiency, often avoiding emotional closeness and intimacy. They may withdraw from relationships to maintain emotional distance and suppress their feelings, avoiding seeking support or approval from others.

3. Disorganized / Fearful-Avoidant Attachment

   • Self-View: Mixed
   • View of Others: Mixed
   • Behavior: This style combines traits of both anxious and avoidant attachment, leading to inconsistent and confusing behaviors. Individuals may desire intimacy but struggle with trust and emotional dependence. They often have difficulty regulating their emotions and may avoid deep emotional connections due to a fear of being hurt.

4. Secure Attachment

   • Self-View: Positive
   • View of Others: Positive
   • Behavior: Adults with a secure attachment style are comfortable with emotional expression and can depend on and support their partners. Their relationships are characterized by honesty, tolerance, and closeness. They manage their emotions effectively and support their partners in doing the same, without fearing abandonment or being alone.

Dr. Sue Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

Dr. Johnson, the creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), has revolutionized our understanding of adult attachment in relationships. Her work emphasizes the importance of establishing a secure base—a foundation of trust, safety, and emotional support essential for healthy and fulfilling connections between partners.

What is EFT?

EFT is a transformative therapeutic approach grounded in the understanding that humans are biologically wired to form and maintain strong emotional bonds. This need for secure attachment is crucial for emotional well-being and helps us navigate the world with confidence.

EFT views relationship distress as stemming from disruptions in these secure emotional connections. When partners experience a loss of connection, they often fall into negative cycles—patterns of anger, criticism, distancing, silence, or distraction—that erode trust and security.

The goal of EFT is to break these negative cycles by:

1. Identifying and Mapping the Cycle: Recognizing the patterns of behavior that contribute to relationship distress.
2. Articulating Needs: Helping partners express their emotional needs clearly and compassionately.
3. Fostering Understanding and Empathy: Encouraging partners to respond with empathy and compassion to each other’s needs.

By addressing these negative patterns and fostering emotional connection, EFT helps couples rebuild trust and strengthen their relationship.

Establishing a Secure Base in Relationships

To cultivate a secure base, Dr. Johnson recommends:

1. Emotional Responsiveness: Actively listening, validating your partner’s feelings, and being present during times of distress.
2. Accessibility and Availability: Being physically and emotionally available to your partner, making time for them, and offering support when needed.
3. Engagement and Connection: Deepening your emotional connection by sharing thoughts, dreams, and fears, and engaging in meaningful conversations regularly.

The Role of EFT in Transforming Relationships

Dr. Johnson’s EFT process involves:

• Identifying Negative Patterns: Recognizing cycles of conflict and disconnection in relationships.
• Accessing Underlying Emotions: Understanding the primary emotions driving these patterns.
• Creating Positive Interactions: Developing new ways of interacting that promote emotional security and closeness.

By understanding and applying Dr. Johnson’s principles of adult attachment and EFT, couples can create a secure base that enhances their relationship’s resilience and intimacy. Building this foundation of trust and emotional connection is key to navigating life’s challenges together.

Ready to build a secure base in your relationship? Contact Killian Counseling Services LLC for expert guidance and support in relationship counseling and Emotionally Focused Therapy in Montclair, NJ, and virtually across New Jersey.